Saturday, March 31, 2018

Artists for the days of March 31-April 1: all the moms and dads and kids sit together to decorate Easter Eggs or Matzo bread.

To all of you, dear friends, have a happy Easter or a great Passover!  This year Easter and Passover happen almost at the same time, so instead of bringing people of different faiths together, we all know it’s more important to find out which holiday is better.

Easter vs. Passover: Which Holiday Wins?
Don’t know which holiday to celebrate? Now you can decide.

Story: Resurrection vs. Exodus
Passover commemorates the Jewish people’s exodus from Egypt, while Easter commemorates Jesus’ exodus from Earth. The eternal afterlife is nice, but it doesn’t beat watching God destroy the people who kept you as slaves. Also, Charlton Heston really sells it.
WINNER: Passover

Food: Candy vs. Kosher For Passover
Passover is a dietary restrictive holiday. Plenty of tasteless crackers. No candy, bread, cookies, soda, nothing delicious. Easter marks the end of Lent, where everybody gave up something they love, and has candy. Passover doesn’t have real candy.
WINNER: Easter

Meal: Easter Brunch vs. Passover (Seder) Dinner
Passover has two nights of Seders, a meaningful religious ceremony that’s long and drawn out and you have to wait to eat. On Easter you don’t have to do nearly as much before you get to chow down. It’s great to honor our ancestors, but everyone needs to nosh.
WINNER: Easter

Time With Family: 1 day vs. 7 days
One thing all holidays have in common is the dreaded time we have to spend with our family. It’s not that we don’t love them, it’s that we hate spending time with them. Easter is one Sunday. Your Jewish friend may be able to get out of 4 or 5 days of Passover, but they’re stuck with at least two. The less time spent, the better.
WINNER: Easter

Days Off Work: 1-2 days vs. ???
Those who celebrate Easter might take off Good Friday, and if they usually work Sundays they could get that day off too. Not bad. Passover celebrators often utilize this holiday to test how much their boss really knows about the Jewish religion. Try saying Passover is a 40-day celebration of finding the homeland. Who knows?
WINNER: Passover

Random Traditions: Egg hunt vs. Afikomen
Children hunt for eggs on Easter and the Afikomen on Passover. People have heard of eggs, and probably don’t know that the Afikomen is a piece of matzo wrapped in a cloth and hidden. Eggs go bad; matzo already is bad but doesn’t smell. Also, if you find the Afikomen you get hard cash. Cash is king.
WINNER: Passover

Cost: Easter Decorations vs. Passover Everything
Easter calls for pastel colors, egg decorating kits, bunny ears, maybe a rabbit to play with for a few hours then let free into the wild. Passover decorating is pretty cheap; just ask your butcher for some lambs’ blood, but it’s the food that gets you. Not only does Passover require adherents to buy special unleavened foods, free of corn syrup, devoid of love, you are also supposed to throw away any food in your home that isn’t kosher for Passover. Kosher for Passover is pretty unkosher for the wallet.
WINNER: Easter

Final Score: Easter 4. Passover 3.